Readings: Isaiah 6:1-2a, 3-8; Psalm 138; 1 Corinthians 15:1-11; Luke 5:1-11
In today’s Gospel, we hear of an encounter between some fishermen and a young Rabbi on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. What strikes me most about this story is Peter’s honest humility with Jesus at the very beginning of their relationship. In the end, Jesus chooses Peter to be the leader of this band of vagabonds and together they change the world. Like our current Pope, Peter’s integrity shows up in his willingness to admit that he a sinner. This kind of honesty is the basis of all good relationships, especially with Jesus, and the starting point for one’s ongoing transformation.
Honesty is also the best place to start when embarking on a path that will take us into the deep water of the spiritual quest that Jesus invites us to. Our life’s spiritual quest will require all of our gifts and the hard lessons we have gained by surviving our mistakes. If we are ready to put out into deep water it is best to have the integrity of self to own our strengths as well as our weaknesses; our shadows as well as our light. The word integrity comes from the root which means intact. We need our whole person intact and ready to show up to meet the challenges of a life of faith, to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. To be a whole person means being a holy person – warts and all. This is evident with the disciples of Jesus we call Apostles.
Throughout the Gospels, we see the disciples often miss Jesus’ point and struggle to work effectively as a community of believers. We also see Jesus counsel them and encourage them to get up and try again. He shows them forgiveness and the opportunity to try again to rise above their mistakes. As Bob Carlisle states in his song, We Fall Down is how we learn to become saints. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saYYm1CkX3M)
…We fall down, we get up
We fall down, we get up
And the saints are just the sinners
Who fall down and get up…
In the end, we have these disciples, men, and women, in a community, who find the grace of God’s forgiveness to pass on the mission of Jesus to us. The mission of the disciple is simply to share some truly good news for the world. The good news is not that we are required to be perfect, only that we must be honest about our humanness and ready to give and receive the grace of forgiveness with each other in a non-judgmental way. In his letter to the community in Corinth, St. Paul is frank about his own guilt regarding his persecution of the early Church. Though he deems himself unfit to be an Apostle, he says it is by God’s grace that, “I am what I am.” And by this same grace, Paul has led many to faith. Where can we experience this kind of encouragement, counsel, and grace today?
To access this kind of encouragement, counsel, and grace we must first begin with personal integrity and to admit to ourselves where we have fallen and hurt others. Second, believe that God loves us, and offers us grace that is more powerful than our sins and will always be ready to forgive us when we fall. This gives us hope. Third, we must follow the example of Peter and Paul, and to turn over one’s life to God in service to others. This is a sign of faith that trusts God has our best interests at heart and will always care for us. This kind of courage is a great antidote to fear. Fourth, this courage will be required to make amends with those we have injured by our actions – something you see St. Paul does in his admission of his earlier persecution of the Church. You might ask, “Where can I go to do this kind of soul work?” Let me tell you about one place I found.
Following a retreat, over 18 years ago, I have sat in a weekly meeting with a circle of men whom I have grown to trust and in whom I feel safe to share my hopes and dreams, fears and sins. The retreat I attended encouraged the men to form small ‘faith-sharing groups.’ Some call these gatherings ‘accountability groups.’ The Cursillo Movement encourages those who have made a Cursillo form what they call ‘reunion groups’ to continue the faith formation started on their weekend. It is not important what we call these groups or what is the catalyst to begin – it is only important that we grow in our faith within a trusted small community of faith. Many are familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. There are some AA meetings at our parish. This is a place to do deep-water faith development around a particular issue. In all these settings confidentiality is paramount and no judgment is the rule.
As you can imagine the men in my own group have tackled many faith challenges over the years. Some men have lost a job. Others have lost their health. A couple of the men have lost a spouse to death or divorce. One man has done time in prison. Through all this, we strive to be non-judgmental, forgiving, and supportive, as each of us has (in turn) put out into deep water, seeking answers to the hard questions of faith. And there have been more than a few celebrations of faith and the joy at being ‘caught’ by the love and the grace of God. Our faith has deepened with the years that have now creased our faces and whitened our hair. And we have come to learn that the universe is a safe place.
This has led us all to a place that if someone were to ask, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” We feel ready to respond “Here I am, send me!” (CF Isaiah 6:8b)
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