Readings: Acts of the Apostles 10:25-26, 34-35,44-48; Psalm 98; 1 John 4:7-10; John 15:9-17
Two things you can count on with God; first, our freedom, and second, His mercy. Freedom to choose means we are free to love or to hate, and worse than hate, is indifference. If we do not choose to love, we become estranged from God and our fellow human beings. Sadly it appears that the one thing we can count on in relationships is that from time to time we will wrong one another. If we become indifferent to those around us we still have wronged them, but worse yet, we don’t even realize our hidden hatred. Once relationships are damaged, how do we repair the breach? Mercy is the key to reconciliation. Like God, we must be ever ready to be merciful to those who have wronged us. Remember that Jesus prayed to his Father while he hung on the cross that his murders would be forgiven. This is how Jesus loves us.
Jesus gives us a new commandment: “love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” (John 13:34) Jesus’ love is lived out through His passion, death, and resurrection, and through this, He shows us how to reconcile our ruptured relationships. For our part, we need to accept responsibility for our actions, strive to correct our wrongs and ask for forgiveness. I can think of examples in my life where I have tried to repair a relationship, but in the end, there was still residual hurt to be healed, but I moved on and called it, ‘good enough.’ That was a mistake because like pulling weeds if I don’t get the entire root out – the weed will grow back stronger than ever. Harder for me to remember is when the healing of a relationship was done well and where the problem was completely resolved. One example is where our primary teacher in the diocese, Bishop Thomas Olmsted, repaired the relationships between the laity and clerics on a particular issue. The issue arose out of the apparent intention to remove the reception of the Precious Blood during the distribution of Holy Communion in the Diocese of Phoenix in the fall of 2011. The problem arose out of the mishandling of the dialogue and communication about the norms for the distribution of Holy Communion.
Instead of brushing off the tensions that arose from the article in the Catholic Sun (Diocese of Phoenix newspaper), our Bishop addressed the situation directly with humility, integrity, and honesty. In a letter to the deacons of the diocese, Bishop Thomas apologized to all the deacons and priests for any hurt and confusion caused by the mishandling of the dialogue and communications about the norms for the distribution of Holy Communion. He further apologized for any tensions created between priests, deacons, and parishes. Finally, he acknowledged that there were some cases where deacons were caught in the middle.
His letter also made an appeal to the deacons to assist him in correcting the confusion and implementing the new norms. He acknowledged that he could not accomplish what was needed on his own, even with the help of the office of worship, but only in concert with the deacons could the issue address the hurt and confusion in the families and in the parishes. Our bishop ultimately stated his reliance on the Holy Spirit for the wisdom and grace to carry out His work and to give Him fitting worship.
The four steps to reconciliation in relationships are clear in this example by our Bishop’s actions. First, he acknowledged the wrong and took personal responsibility for any confusion and hurt. He did not try to ‘pass the buck’ to the Office of Worship or any individual. Secondly, he stated his sincere desire to make things right. Thirdly, he asked the all parties cooperate with him in mending the relationships. Fourth, he prayed to the Holy Spirit that this cooperative work would bear good fruit. The results speak for themselves and who withhold mercy for a bishop as humble and sincere as ours.
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